Peace and Serenity
Horror and Abstract
Nick Silver refused to panic. The shirt he ripped off just a few moments earlier was already wrapped around his bloody arm. When nick jumped over the barbed wire fence, he shredded his arm in the process. While running, he skillfully turned his jail shirt into a makeshift bandage. Nimble fingers and a calm mind is what shaped him into the clever killer he is today. Although he prided himself on his speed, he doubted he could have outran the cops already. Where were they? he looked over his shoulder a second time as he ran, and still saw no signs of a pursuer. "They must be trying to cut me off," he breathlessly said to himself. As he ran, he saw what looked like a small group of trees. He decided to hide there and catch his breath. So on he ran, Smiling and full of himself, to his grave.
Nick stood there, briefly enjoying the shade of the trees as he was hunched over, attempting to get ready for another run for freedom. Just before flying out of the trees like a bat out of hell, he was overcome with a sense of fear. The hairs on his neck rose up, his arms covered in goose bumps, and he felt a burning sensation in his body as adrenaline pumped into his system. Nick turned around so swiftly he almost knocked down the two little girls that were standing behind him. In front of him now were two girls, he guessed around age 12 or 13, that looked almost exactly They both had blonde hair, the same face, and even had on the same black dresses Each had their hands behind their backs. Before Nick had time to dart off, one of the girls spoke. "Hello Nick Silver. I'm Peace, and this is my sister, Serenity. Would you like some water?" As Nick's jaw dropped, the girl revealed a bottle of water from behind her back.
Nick carefully accepted the bottle of water. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to high-tail it out of here, but something held him there. It was the feeling of truely being calm. After guzzling the water, he looked at the one who spoke, Peace, square in her blue eye. "How do you know my name?" he asked, but it was more of a demand than a question. "We know much," said the other girl; Serenity, if he remembered right. "For example, we know that you're a bad man..." "...that has done bad things," said Peace. "but thats ok. We are here to help you find true comfort; but you must do as we say."
Nick didn't know what to do. His mind was racing. If not for the growing sense of calm rushing over him, he would have already sprinted away. so he just stood there. Several minutes passed by. He eventually attempted to ask what it is he should do, when he was interrupted by Peace. "To understand true comfort," she said, "you must be quiet." Nick's mind was racing once again. He wanted to ask so many questions, but he tried his best to be quiet. but many more minutes passed, and he found it harder and harder to stay quiet. eventually, Peace spoke again. "We can sense that you wish to speak, which is natural. Remember in your final moments this simple saying: Silence is golden..." "And knives," said Serenity, "are silver." and with that, Serenity brought her hands from behind her back and quickly sliced Nick's throat with the knife she has been holding.Nick fell to his knees, then face first to the ground, clutching his neck. The last words he heard before he died were these:"Now you can embrace eternal silence, and can finally find true peace and serenity." *note: I have never published a story. This is my second short story. I realize the storyline is goofy, but this isn't about that. All I want is criticizim about how I presented the storyline; tips, pointers, what i did wrong and what i did right. and by that I mean my general story-telling abilities. I want to know what I'm doing wrong before I finalize my next short story (which I will do on this site as well.) I will employ any and all tips I get into my next (first) short story. Thank you for reading.
Nick stood there, briefly enjoying the shade of the trees as he was hunched over, attempting to get ready for another run for freedom. Just before flying out of the trees like a bat out of hell, he was overcome with a sense of fear. The hairs on his neck rose up, his arms covered in goose bumps, and he felt a burning sensation in his body as adrenaline pumped into his system. Nick turned around so swiftly he almost knocked down the two little girls that were standing behind him. In front of him now were two girls, he guessed around age 12 or 13, that looked almost exactly They both had blonde hair, the same face, and even had on the same black dresses Each had their hands behind their backs. Before Nick had time to dart off, one of the girls spoke. "Hello Nick Silver. I'm Peace, and this is my sister, Serenity. Would you like some water?" As Nick's jaw dropped, the girl revealed a bottle of water from behind her back.
Nick carefully accepted the bottle of water. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to high-tail it out of here, but something held him there. It was the feeling of truely being calm. After guzzling the water, he looked at the one who spoke, Peace, square in her blue eye. "How do you know my name?" he asked, but it was more of a demand than a question. "We know much," said the other girl; Serenity, if he remembered right. "For example, we know that you're a bad man..." "...that has done bad things," said Peace. "but thats ok. We are here to help you find true comfort; but you must do as we say."
Nick didn't know what to do. His mind was racing. If not for the growing sense of calm rushing over him, he would have already sprinted away. so he just stood there. Several minutes passed by. He eventually attempted to ask what it is he should do, when he was interrupted by Peace. "To understand true comfort," she said, "you must be quiet." Nick's mind was racing once again. He wanted to ask so many questions, but he tried his best to be quiet. but many more minutes passed, and he found it harder and harder to stay quiet. eventually, Peace spoke again. "We can sense that you wish to speak, which is natural. Remember in your final moments this simple saying: Silence is golden..." "And knives," said Serenity, "are silver." and with that, Serenity brought her hands from behind her back and quickly sliced Nick's throat with the knife she has been holding.Nick fell to his knees, then face first to the ground, clutching his neck. The last words he heard before he died were these:"Now you can embrace eternal silence, and can finally find true peace and serenity." *note: I have never published a story. This is my second short story. I realize the storyline is goofy, but this isn't about that. All I want is criticizim about how I presented the storyline; tips, pointers, what i did wrong and what i did right. and by that I mean my general story-telling abilities. I want to know what I'm doing wrong before I finalize my next short story (which I will do on this site as well.) I will employ any and all tips I get into my next (first) short story. Thank you for reading.
