“Linda told me that you snuck out last night. I would like to know why.” Elizabeth was not smiling today. She wore concern well, though. I know that this would come up eventually, but I had pretended that it wouldn’t. I didn’t think I was entirely ready to handle the memories of the previous night.

“I wanted to get out and do something on my own. I met this guy yesterday and he invited me to spend some time with…”

She cut me off, but she was still gentle and caring. “That was very dangerous, Brooke. Linda also told me that you remembered something.” She cleared her throat and shifted in her chair. She briefly looked down at her notebook, like she was uncomfortable with what she was about to say. “I wasn’t going to bring this up until later, when you remembered more, but since last nights incidents brought out something familiar, you need to know.”

“What do I need to know?” I said calmly. I knew whatever was coming was going to be unpleasant and I wanted to show Elizabeth that I was handling this maturely.

“A few weeks before you started to help your dad, you were in Yosemite with a friend. One night, you went out with your friend to have fun downtown. You were walking back to your hotel when a group of drunken men started to follow you. They chased you into the woods and they raped both of you. The two of you had nightmares every time you closed your eyes. Your friend found out a few weeks later that she was pregnant. You were the only one she told. She couldn’t live with herself after that; she was so distraught, she killed herself. You were having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. It was one of the major reasons your dad moved to San Francisco to live with you. The day of your accident, you were coming back from your last visit to Trinidad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? This could’ve helped me remember sooner! Why didn’t I remember it on my own?” I screamed at Elizabeth, the opposite of maturity. I was frustrated and angry mostly with myself, but screaming felt like it would help; it didn’t help, it only made it worse. Angry tears spilled over my eyes. My chest did not shake with staggered breaths as it had the previous night when I was filled with sorrow and pain.

“Sometimes the mind tries to protect itself from unpleasant memories. When your head was hit, your mind took a chance to hide anything that would potentially hurt you along with all of your memories prior to that Yosemite trip. Your mind did not want you to remember this terrible event in your life. I did not want to tell you because the mind will reveal its secrets when it is ready. If you could not remember it on your own, then your mind was not ready, you were not ready.”

“But I am ready! I’ve been ready to remember since…”

“Brooke, take some deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” I followed her calm instructions with jagged breaths. “This is what we were afraid would happen; that you would react like this. You need to stay calm.”

I glanced at the clock on the wall opposite of the couch I was sitting on. It was 9:57. “I need to go to the bathroom.” I clenched my teeth.

Elizabeth stared at me, confused, but then she said, “Okay, but hurry back.”

I stood up and hurried out the door. The woman behind the window watched me with confusion, but I didn’t care. I only wanted to get away and think about the recent events on my own. I rushed down the hallway, going the opposite direction of the bathroom. I anxiously waited for the elevator doors to open. When they finally did, I pressed the button for the lobby and then the one to close the doors. I was alone in the elevator and this comforted me. There would almost be no witnesses to my escape.

The elevator beeped to tell me that I had arrived at the lobby. People were walking around the lobby, but I managed to see out of the glass windows and automatic doors. I recognized Sawyer standing by the door where a young couple was pushing a stroller with a sleeping toddler. He was wearing dark jeans paired with a dark green shirt underneath a navy blue jacket. It was different from last night, probably because the jacket he had been wearing had my blood on it. I walked faster towards him. “Sawyer, are you ready?”

He stared at me and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you about later

“Why are you in such a hurry? Are you sure this is such a good>

“I just need to talk over some things with you, to make sense of what’s been happening.”

“If you’re sure…Let’s go. My car is parked just down the block.”

He started to walk out the doors. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that nobody was following me. “So where are we going?”

“I thought the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park would be a good place to talk. It’s Rebecca’s favorite place to go to relax.” He unlocked his car from the keys in his pocket. Again, he opened the passenger’s door and waited until my seatbelt was buckled. When he sat in his seat, he didn’t turn on the music. The entire ten-minute ride and finding parking was silent. We walked to the entrance and Sawyer paid seven dollars to the man sitting behind the window.

I walked next to Sawyer breathlessly. I had never seen anything like it, well from what I could remember. It was beautiful there. The grayness of the clouds added to the tranquility. The large and graceful trees were starting to peek open with green leaves. Flower buds were waiting to bloom. Small waterfalls throughout the garden provided the soundtrack of meditation. The air was filled with jasmine and clean water. Everyone already in the garden was whispering in fear of disturbing the peacefulness of the garden. Some were attempting to climb to the top of a severely arched bridge for a photo, but then were stuck trying to get back to the simple path leading the wanderers through the garden. A few miniature bridges let people walk over water and point at they orange and white koi fish swimming calmly beneath the water’s surface. Traditional Japanese pagodas and shrines were hidden amongst the trees and bushes. Paper lanterns hung from a wooden ceiling covering wooden tables and chairs. Japanese servers dressed in kimonos were bringing teapots and cookies to the people sitting at the tables.

Sawyer sat down on a stool and I sat in the one next to him. He got up and told me to stay seated. I followed his instructions happily. I looked at the tranquil scenery. Time passed quickly and Sawyer returned. Shortly after him, a woman in a kimono deposited two teapots and teacups along with a bowl of crackers at out table. She stated that the tea in the teapots was jasmine and for us to wait a few minutes to let the leaves seep.

“So what did you want to talk about?” I had almost forgotten about why we were here. My happiness crashed instantly.

“I was with my therapist this morning and I found out something before my accident. And maybe it explains last night.” He nodded, his teeth clenched together.

Taking his silence as a signal to go on, I continued, “She says that my memory will come back quicker if I’m surrounded by familiar things. My dad and I stayed in San Francisco because we lived here before my mom left and so I could finish school when I get better. Before my accident, I was with my friend in Yosemite. She said we were there for a Winter Break vacation, just us girls. We were walking back to our hotel one night when we were raped by a group of drunk men.” I stopped at the painful memories of the night before. I took a deep breath and continued. “My friend found out that she was pregnant. She killed herself and I was driving back from my last visit to Santa Rosa.” I didn’t look into his eyes. I was still angry with myself for not remembering on my own and Linda and my dad for not telling me.

“You say that your therapist said that being in familiar surroundings would jog your memory, correct?”

I looked at him to see if his face would give a hint as to where he was going. He poured his tea into a teacup and took a sip. Warm, gray wisps ascended from the slightly green liquid. “Yes,” I said cautiously as I poured my tea into the empty teacup and ate one of the crackers from the small bowl. It was tangy and crunchy. I decided to try another.

He waited for me to try a sip of tea before he asked the next question. “And you remembered this little ‘incident’ when you were in the car with me, correct?”

“Yes.” I still couldn’t see where he was going with these questions.

“Do you know the name of your friend? The one who died?”

I opened my mouth to say “yes,” but I snapped it shut because I realized I didn’t even know the name of my best friend who died. I stared at the tealeaves dancing around each other at the bottom of my cup. I took another sip. What kind of friend was I?

He sighed at my lack of an answer. “Have you watched the news lately?”

“Yes. Why are you asking me all of these questions?” The questions were starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I was already emotional when I fled from my session. These questions weren’t helping any. I glared at him, waiting for an answer.

He took a long sip of tea. He kept his voice low, “Have you heard of the missing girl, Cori Baine?”

The name sent shivers throughout my body. That name started the conversation where I argued with Linda. It was before I snuck out. Before I remembered the horrible things my mind was trying to keep locked up. Before I scared Sawyer and myself. “Of course.” I tried to keep my voice soft, too, but I had little control over my emotions, especially today.

“Gabe, one of the guys you met last night, is Cori’s brother.”

I couldn’t see what connection he was trying to make. “Okay, but what does that have to do with anything that we’re talking about?” I was completely confused.

“Brooke, this is going to sound crazy, but you need to trust me. Everything your dad and your therapist told you has been a total and complete lie.”

“Hayden, I have to go. Now. My plane leaves soon.”

“I still don’t see why you’re going to see your dad or why you don’t want me to come along.” He held her in his arms across his bare chest. She reached up and put her hand against his morning stubble. She sat up a little and he put his mouth on hers. It was a short and sweet kiss, but then she pushed away and stood up. She started to get dressed.

“I don’t want my dad to meet any of my new friends or mon petit ami affecteux. He’s embarrassing and I hate him, but he’s still my dad and I haven’t seen him since my high school graduation.” She looked at him and his messy light brown hair and brown eyes with affection, the closest she had ever gotten to feeling love for somebody. She was wearing his favorite shirt: a short-sleeved embroidered green blouse.

He smiled and said, “Mel, come here.”

“I can’t. I have to go. My plane leaves in a few hours and I still need to finish packing and check in at the airport.” She went into his bathroom and quickly brushed her teeth.

He sat up and said, “I really think you could spare a few minutes for your petit ami.” He got off the bed and put on a nearby gray t-shirt. She finished brushing her teeth and tossed it into her open bag. She walked over to him.

“What?” she asked impatiently. She shifted her weight to her right foot and crossed her arms over her chest.

He was still smiling because he knew she had no what he was about to ask her. “Will you, Melanie, make me the happiest man in the world by marring me?” He took the little blue velvet box out of the pocket in his pants and opened it to display his grandmother’s wedding ring, a 1.5 carat diamond on a silver band, to her.