"It's lonely out here.....surrounded by all these people." I thought to myself. The thin shawl wrapped around my head flowed harshly in the wind, and I struggled to keep it from falling off. I turned my back to the large crowd and I could feel their eyes penetrating me accusingly; if the shawl fell off it would just be another negative point behind my back.

The priest beckoned me towards him. I walked carefully; I could never walk properly in a sari. He motioned for me to light incense and place it around my dead husband's body. I could feel the tears starting to swell up in my eyes as I lit yet another fragrant stick, the smell reminding me that today was the last day I would see my husbands face.

Although we were in a room with walls, the wind continued to break through, threatening to dry out the incense sticks that clung around my husband's body. To me this was the only light in my now dry and bleak life and that thought alone brought my body to a shiver.

Walking back to my place in the front of the room, directly in front of the casket, I glanced to the windows that were on the left. I could see my silhouette quite clearly; you couldn't possibly miss the white sari signaling a new widow. It was hard to imagine that just a month ago I was celebrating my new life in a bright red sari with gold sequins. My gold chains hung heavy on my chest and my family cried with joy as their young daughter was finally married.

Now his family cried as their only son was to be married to the ground, where he was to be for all eternity. Their stares bore into me as I sat down. They never really did like me, only he did. They never believed in me, only he did.

. My heart ached for him and my body yearned. My tears started to flow rapidly and my body started to shake with convulsions. I heard movement from up ahead and knew they were taking him away from me. I heard his family get up, the screams and wails seeped into my brain.

I waited until the room was soundless. Even in death, they wanted me no where near his body. I got up and proceed to the back entrance of the chapel. The kick in my belly made me stop halfway to the door. I turned around just in time to see my husband being buried into the ground. I silently bid him goodbye. I had to keep strong for the one thing that they couldn't take away for me. I walked out of the chapel with a smile on my face.