Thought I Still Had It
One windy rainy day I went to Wal-mart. I walked in, smiled at the greeter and said hello. She can barely get "Welcome to Wal-mart" out of her mouth because she is laughing so hard. Isn't it just wonderful to see people in a good mood and able to laugh? I get my buggy and head for the grocery isle. This woman walks by me smiling and staring right at me. Then as she passes by I hear her break out laughing. People sure are in a good mood today. As I was shopping I noticed a group of three nice looking girls looking and smiling at me. Hmmm...I thought to myself, "Ole Wayne still got it!"
So I puffed up and started strutting my stuff like a Mississippi Peacock. I don't get much attention anymore and I have to say, I was eating it up. Everywhere I went there they were, smiling and looking at me. I played it cool, but as I went down the frozen food isle I open the freezer door to retrieve a pizza, as the door closed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window of the freezer door. No way! What the heck! CRAAAAAAP! To my surprise I discover why I'm getting so many looks and smiles. As I mentioned earlier it was a rainy and windy day but what I didn't mention, was that I had a daaang cow lick that morning so I used some hair spray to lay it down.
Well, wouldn't you know it, the wind had blown my hair, and it stuck, straight up, on one side. It looked like half a Mohawk and it was far from looking cool. My face turned three different shades of red and I could feel my heart beating in my ear lobes. I try to brush it down with my hands but it don‘t work. Craaaaaap! That hair spray is some good stuff. My hair just pops right back up like it's spring loaded. The only thing I could do was go to the clothing department and put on the first ball cap I could find; tag hanging and all. Even made the check out girl scan it on my head! Groceries - $76.00...."She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" ball cap - $12.99.... looking like Rod Stewart had just woken up - priceless!