my wacky adventure
When andre and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right, it was andre's mother, edna. And boy was she surprised to see a bannana liger following andre into the yard! "What in world is that?" shouted edna. "It's a bannana liger," answered andre. "Dah, I can see that, andre, but what on earth is it doing here?" said edna. "It's my new pet!" answered andre. "Oh you think so do you?" remarked edna. "I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates bannana ligers. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home." And with that andre grabbed jesus by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house -- even though he knew his father was probably going to dissaprove.
Once in the house, andre and jesus played and played, that is until andre's favorite television show, "explicit gay sex," started. At that point andre forgot all about jesus having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through "explicit gay sex," when andre was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, "arrghh fuck my arse!! andre! Get your worthlessness in the torture chamber...NOW!!" With that andre rushed into the torture chamber to see what all the fuss was about.
When he entered the torture chamber, there stood his father, rickshaw, pointing toward the plank. "Will someone please explain that?" asked his father. Then, as andre followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the plank, was the biggest pile of liger doo-doo he had ever seen! "I don't EVEN want to know how that got there," said rickshaw. "But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!"
Well, knowing his father as well as he did, andre knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep jesus for a pet. So without hesitation, andre set out to find where jesus was hiding.
After a few minutes of looking, andre discovered jesus crouched beneath the table that andre did his extremely hard sex on. "Come on, jesus, it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the plank!" scolded andre. "Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet liger!! And with that andre led jesus out of the house and down to the local ouh la la. ouh la la had a pet section and andre knew the owner would find jesus a good home. So after saying good-bye to jesus, and thanking the owner of ouh la la, andre walked backed home and attempted to dround his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen pints of Everclear At 95 per cent ABV, few products can come close to the strength of Everclear , such as absinthe strong at 90 percents. But andre's pitty party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up. And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, andre suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.
The End.
